Leadership When Everything Feels Like a Sh!t Show

If you are spinning out of control, if life is spinning out of control for you and you bring that tornado into your company, it literally is going to rip through your company and everybody's going to experience what you're feeling as well. It's an energy. It's the vibration. I don't know what other way to be able to say it, because there's a lot of times people don't have to say that they're in a shitty situation at home or, um, things are tough or they're frustrated. You can sense it and, like, they're just like animals. So your agents are just like animals. Your teams are just like animals. People can sense your energy. Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast for Real Estate Pros by Real Estate Pros, with your hosts, Ashley Frederick and Steven Burch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic, and raw perspective, you found it. Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast. After some tech issues, today, we're finally rolling. Our topic that we were starting to talk about that will reroll for a bit is how everything basically starts from the top. It rolls downhill is pretty much the simplest way to be able to put it. And what are we really going through on this? Like, we know that life is SupaBase right now. Transactions are nuts. We're leaders. It's kind of a shit show. Like, we. That's literally what we just said before we press play. It's kind of a shit show right now. So how do you act when it's a shit show as a leader with the rest of your team? Yeah, you know, I think there's a lot going on, right? Like, there's a lot in the world. Like, real estate is weird. There's, like, some really good things. There's some strange things, I think, like, some people are super busy. Some people are super slow. Some agents are getting cranky in transactions. You know, I think one thing that we were talking about, too, is like, an inspection request. We used to see, like, everything is fine. I'll take it as is. And now we're kind of back to, I want the kitchen sink, you know, to come with the house, and I want this fixed, and I want this outlet fixed. So it's very different. Right. And I think it's also maybe agents that got into the business in the last five years. It's different than what they're used to, too, with price reductions and open houses and more negotiating instead of the offers that didn't have inspections. And so I think there's just a craziness, if you will, that people are Feeling and I guess probably, maybe for you and I, we've been through those roller coasters before as not necessarily. I mean I wasn't a leader in those roller coasters. Right. I was in the thick of things when things were up down houses on the market for eight months. Right. So now that we're in this leadership role, I think that there's for me maybe just a sense of calm because we've weathered the storm before and I think that that's what people are looking for is the calm and the reassurance that it's not, this isn't forever. Or maybe we need to be doing things differently. Maybe you were kind of skating by before and maybe it's a wake up call that you do have to put the work in, you do have to follow up with leads, you do have to be involved with your sphere where people kind of forgot about that. But I also think it's being the problem solver. So man, I feel like that has been like the last three weeks is all problem solving like SupaBase coming up, like how did that come up? Or SupaBase expectations Or I want a thirty thousand dollar roof even though the roof does not need to be replaced. And you know, I think I was talking about that with someone else earlier. Like you have to have the ability to problem solve because there are so many other agents that are just going with the flow and yeah, seller make the thirty thousand dollar roof when you have three roofers that are saying not to. Right. So I think it's really digging into your sphere of people as well like your contractors and everything and making sure that they're on board. So I guess the way that I just handle the chaoticness for me it's calm. Like I normally like to not sell my cards right. Like poker face, resting bitch face, whatever you want to call it is how I prefer in these craziness. Like right. I think somebody else was saying that like you don't ever seem like you're flustered. And I was like, but what does that solve? Like what is getting flustered really solve in the big scheme of things. So I think just trying to talk through maybe trying to understand where people are coming through and trying to be more so their light of hey, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Did you think about this? Can we try that? Don't give up yet. And you know, I think that we as high performers, we are able to truly work better through the chaos. And it's almost asked backwards of when it's slow and there's not Chaos, it's like what's wrong? And then it's something that we're not used to. But really also like, I think it's a huge thing about your energy. I don't, I don't care if it's the co oping agent that you're negotiating the deal with, your client, the vendor contractor, or an agent that is working for you. It's all about your energy and how you are controlling and composing yourself. And if you are going to be coming at this with, you know, balls blazing, just going all over the freaking place and the world's on fire and like people are going to match your energy with what you're throwing to them. And so it's being very conscious of how you are approaching, how you are rewarding what you're trying to deliver and making sure that you're putting in a manner for the other person to create, comprehend without your emotion all tied up into it as well. So I, I think there's so many different dynamics because that's all we do is we deal with people all day long and it, it does become tiring. And there are times that I want to, you know, karate chop somebody in their throat and tell them that they're SupaBase, but I can't. And you know, I want to have that, have that calmness. I, I really want to, I can't lie. But um, but you have to have that calmness because as soon as you show your, your cards, if you will, then I think the, the whole game shifts and changes and it's because of how you approached it and it's how you're leading people. So like when, when you're in that chaos holding, holding those cards, like what does that really mean? Like how can you, can you give an example of what holding back those cards truly mean? Is my passing out again? What was the question? Give a real life example of what holding the cards truly means when you really want to be screaming at the top of your lungs. Yeah, holding the cards. So I mean I think it's, people want to like jump to an automatic answer or an automatic no, that's not right. So for like example, right, we had a inspection where inspector said the roof was end of life. It's not end of life. And the buyer had a roofer come over that is known for over quoting and wanting roofs. So it's like $32,000, right. So that other agent was just like, yep, we're going to ask for a $30,000, you know, increase or decrease, I'm sorry, or credit And I think, you know, like, showing the cards or whatever would be kind of flying off the hook. Like, you're absolutely nuts. Never going to happen. Seller's not going to do it. We're trying to take a different approach of. I think it would be beneficial to get some other opinions. Right. So got two other roofers that didn't know that they were being, you know, against someone else, and they both said that I had 10 years left on it and they would not recommend replacing it. So just a simple. Got the statements from the roofers, presented them to the other agent. There's no craziness that needed to go about it. Right. Lo and behold, they didn't ask for a new roof. Right. So I think there's just a point where, like, if you would have called and gone it gone off the roof or gone off the roof, gone off the hook, that would have been bad. But had you gone off the hook about how SupaBase they were, Don't. I mean, did I say that to myself and did I say that to my contractor husband? Like, yes, but. Right. If you know your people, if you keep your calm, you have all the supporting documents that support where you're coming from. Like, it just makes it a lot harder for that person to come back with that request. Right. But in the same sense, like, had I not done that, I know exactly what would have happened is that the seller would have said, there is no way I'm doing that. We're going to kill the deal. I'll find a new buyer. Right. And you start all over again. And who knows how long that process would have taken? I have no idea. So really, just by staying calm, getting the facts, getting true costs, we're on track to close on time, and there's no $30,000 roof that needs to be done. So, like, with that, like, let's say that your agents are getting these SupaBase, SupaBase deals going, the market is shifting, it's changing. The dynamic is totally different. Other agents are acting a fool, going SupaBase. Adam as well. And you know what it's like being in the front line of all of that in this industry. So how do you keep your team calm, cool, and collected and not burnt out? Spent whatever term that you want to use down in the dumps when you know you might be in down in the dumps currently yourself, but how do you make sure that you don't bring them down? You actually turn them around and lift them up? Yeah, I think that one of those things and I to me, like, our office meeting and our Tuesdays are one of the most important things once it's. It's a sense of camaraderie. Right. Because we don't see each other as competitors. We see each other as camaraderies and brainstormers. So one thing that you had suggested was starting the meeting with success. So who wants to share a success? Right? So we're not starting the meeting with, oh, my God, do you know who did what? Or can you believe I heard, like, we're starting it with, this is what I'm happy about. This is what's going well. The whole entire meeting itself is typically structured about good activities, like new listings, new buyers. Right. Those types of things. What events do we have coming up? But it's, oddly enough, for me, about, like, the time after which for us is on. We go on tour. So we typically go on tour together. And so it's, you know, two hours that you're out looking at new houses, and that's an opportunity that, you know, five of us are in a group together, and you can talk about the transactions, and you get a chance to brainstorm together. And for me, it's also maybe the three other agents hearing that and, like, how we work through it so that when they have an opportunity, they'll be like, oh, well, the last time I had heard someone doing that, they did this. I think the other part is just for me, like, my door is wide open all the time, right? So. And that's a frustration is sometimes I think agents always think that they're bothering you, but I would much rather have you bother me and we fix it, unless that doesn't happen. So I think allowing them to come in, get their frustration out, and then kind of going back to the, okay, but what can we do to solve that? What makes the most sense? But to be honest, it's the other piece of, like, events. So we had, like, golf outings last week, Right. And it's an opportunity for everyone to get out of the office for a day and have fun together and not think about work. You know, I'm sure we're all on our phones doing stuff while we're there, but it's the camaraderie between holes and afterwards, you know, so there's a part of just, like, real life that people have to experience together. And I think that then when you get to really know your people and spend quality time with them and know what's going on at home or, you know, like, today we have an agent that has to put an animal down. Like, Right. That is super unfortunate. And we're covering whatever she needs covered and we'll be there for her. But, you know, being able to express that to one another and knowing where people stands, I just feel like overall that helps people feel better and calm more often. And really what I, what I heard is a multiple different part approach, right. You have your designated meeting times on Tuesdays. That, that's down to business. It's structure, right. But you're still being able to bring the human aspect and celebrate people. We're always going back to the celebration of people. But then after that, when you have these, you know, hanging out for the tours or just hanging out at the office and the camaraderie there, you're still talking shop, if you will, but it's a little bit less, less formal, but still being able to learn. It's still always a learning opportunity. And then the third was really on a. Of being able to go and golf or these events. And so it's not just a, you know, when we talk about culture or how do you lift your team up or these different types of things, people think that there's this easy button, one size fits all type of mentality of how you grow and have this culture. Like you have to create the culture. And that's where with this topic, I'm really passionate that it culture starts from the top. If you are spinning out of control, if life is spinning out of control for you and you bring that tornado into your company, it literally is going to rip through your company and everybody's going to experience what you're feeling as well. It's an energy, it's the vibration. I don't know what other way to be able to say it because there's a lot of times people don't have to say that they're in a shitty, shitty situation at home or things are tough or they're frustrated. You can sense it and like they're just like animals. Your agents are just like animals. Your teams are just like animals. People can sense your energy. And so when you do that multiple different level, you're. You're really coming at it from every angle and aspect. But I think what's really beautiful about this is the consistency. You're constantly doing this. It's not just one sales meeting a month, it's not just one event a quarter. It's not structured to where you have it just as a checkbox. It comes naturally. You. And then you do the community events, you know, giving back, you're working back to your team, which really is lifting them all up and then that stabilizes. In my opinion, during those chaotic transactions or the things that are thrown at them, it's a little bit easier. You don't get so rocked off your kilter, if you will. And then I think the other thing here too, when we talk about events and building, the camaraderie and the culture, people, people look at like our Christmas party, we go, I go SupaBase over budget every year on our freaking Christmas party. But events are not to me, they're not all about the money. It's not about how much you spend or you having to have door prizes for every single little thing. It could be as simple as a barbecue or going golfing or hanging out the pool. It doesn't matter. There's so many different things that you can do that do not cost money. Value does not come from money. When you value people and you pour into your people, that is received and I think is way higher than any currency that is ever out there. So it's not just a. You have to put this resting bitch face on, hold your cards and being the stone cold person. It's being a real human and connecting with them, but also not allowing them to just hang out in the dumps. Or you be the shit talker, the stirrer and the poor me woe me sitting there. Because that's what the kind of culture you're creating, that's the environment that you're putting those people in. It's very thin line of how much do you really show and expose or how much do you really hold back as a leader? And I think, you know, two things is we're probably, we're definitely from the Midwest, so we're like old style potluck family. So. Right. Like if you're looking for something simple like have a potluck because everyone's just gonna bring in their favorite food. I mean like, we always end up with way more food than we could ever eat. But it's, you know, an hour and a half that everyone just kind of gets to hang out. We did that last month, I think for the 4th of July and all. Sat in the back parking lot and a break from reality. It's a break to talk about what you're doing this weekend, etc, you know, But I think the other thing that we've worked on too is maybe calling each other out when people do say things. Maybe that isn't the kindest. Or like. Right. Like we all have moments where you're frustrated and you're like, can you believe so and so did this? Because you're literally like, believe that. Which we all have. But then there's maybe times where people take it a little bit too far bar. And then someone be like, okay, but maybe that's the. Not the most appropriate thing. So I, I think I had told you that, you know, in our, in our blink communication, an agent had like, made a fairly funny post. Probably not the most politically correct, but it was really funny. But in the same sense, like, we don't want that on an ongoing basis. So our office manager, like, saw it and deleted it. And I gave her props for that because it was funny and I chuckled, but that's not what we're really going for. But. Right. Like, she has the wherewithal to know that that's not what our company is about. Do we all chuckle for a minute? Sure. Do we need that out there for everyone to see forever? No. So I think it's being able to be aware of that too. Like, we can live in our pity parties for a hot minute, but it doesn't help us at the end of the day. And I, you know, I, I think as leaders, what is hard is that staff or agents don't always know everything else that's going on, right. So, like, they get to see one side of you at work. And so there could be things that are going on in your personal life or your own transactions or the overhead of the whole entire office. Right. Like there's a thousand other moving parts and they kind of maybe just see this itty bitty little sliver that applies to them. So I think that's maybe where it gets hard is to try to be like, open with your staff of like, sounds bad, but, like, it's not all just you. Like, there is. We have to move this whole entire ship together. And sometimes I think that's where a disconnect can be. So just trying to make sure that people can understand and see there are a thousand moving parts to get us to the goal line. And everybody's brains processes things completely differently. Right. And if it's not right there in front of them, they, they're not gonna. Out of sight, out of mind. And, you know, I think that is a blessing and a curse on all one, but really it's. I'm not saying, you know, you hold the cards back and you don't tell people what's going on, but I don't think that you really tell people the entirety, the full 100% picture, because then, like, you are bringing yourself down, right. Not that they can't help you by any means. But when you're leading a team, I think it's a. Okay to be able to say, man, things are tight right now. It's tough right now. You know, the market is shifting. I feel it. I know you feel it. Because if you are feeling it, and you know, obviously we all are business people here, and if you're not selling, that means the brokerage or whatever is not making money. And so therefore, it's time. And I think that it's important to say that because when those different things start to happen in, you know, the entitlement or the. The things that you think that you. They think that they should be getting, you know, all the signs paid for, all this marketing paid for, blah, blah, blah, you're being open and honest with them. And if you were to hold those cards back and you're not talking about the real lives of the emotional roller coaster, the roller coaster of sales, like, you're not teaching them anything about for their own sales in their own business. So I think it's the time to be able to share a bit of your experience, help them through that process, be able to see where you are at. And now how as a team, can we work together for me to help you and you to help me, and let's all go in the same place. And when you get that buy in, that's when you start getting that ship moving all in the same place. If everybody's going off on their own way and doing their own shit, like you're going 10,000 different directions and going nowhere all at the same time. Well, I think the other thing is, like, this doesn't happen overnight. No, right. I mean, like, this is years worth of trial and error, years worth of, like, your own pity parties or maybe, you know, exposing too much or being a part of the gossipy whatever, you know, Like, I think there's a part where you, like, have to make a fine line. And, you know, I have a little thing in my office that, you know, says lead by example. And like, sometimes you just really want to, like. And then you're like, don't do it. Don't do it. Right. So I think that that also comes with time. And I think that's one of the things it goes back to. I think what we talked about too is, like, people just see where you're at right now. You know, they don't understand the last 15 years of what you had experienced to get to today. And, you know, I would just encourage leaders to not forget about, like, what it took to get you here today. But know that more or less, like, dragging people through the mud with you isn't probably the best approach. It's just putting that aside. And as tough as the times might be, you know, and you can be honest with agents about that too. And sometimes you have to make business decisions that agents don't like. But at the end of the day, like, I need to keep our doors open, so we're gonna have to make these business changes. We might have to increase fees because our fees are increased. You know, like, those are just the things that people don't see and don't understand. And they just like to show up and get all the things included, all the signs paid for. And, you know, they forget that there's, you know, I don't know, you have four staff. I mean, I have two staff. Like, they have to get paid by business being created and, you know, mortgages and franchise fees. Like, there's all these things that people forget have to all be rolling together. And I think it's just where, again, if, like, people lived with a little bit of grace or realized, like, maybe I don't have the whole picture, so I shouldn't be so assuming. But, you know, like, people that. I think that agents that are struggling, I think that that's where, as a leader, you can try to pull them aside and see what they're trying to do. Like, are they spending their time appropriately? You know, there's a chat GPT exercise that I love with people that kind of puts them. It's like, you know, nobody's gonna get mad@chat GPT for whatever reason, right? Like, I could tell you it, and you'll take offense to it, but he will tell you that, and you'll be like, oh, dang. Right? And so I've done it with a couple of clients, right? And then they're like, yeah, I really do suck at that donut. Right? But I can't tell them that. So I think, you know, being vulnerable of what is it that's holding me back? Or what is it that I'm making excuses for, that I'm not making my phone calls, I'm not coming to the office. Like, what. What is that underlying thing? And, you know, when. When. When I used to get really focused on the numbers and the market is shifting and, you know, the headlines are scary and everything's, you know, the sky's falling type of mentality. What I always do is I pull from our MLS and I pull the full roster of office rankings. And what I do is I look the people, the office is the one currently above us, how did they get their clients? And then what I do is instead of focusing on the one that's above us right now, turn around, look for all the people that are behind you. Look at that, the people that are below you on that office ranking. What I do is I look at it and say, man, if I were to stop focusing on trying to go after number one and start focusing on all of these other opportunities that are directly behind me, that would get me to number one. But I'm hyper focused in the wrong area. And so how, how can I go when these clients, what are these competitors doing to win over clients that I'm not doing? And it's truly a self reflection time to be able to see what can I do better, how can I better myself? Because you can't tell me that the opportunity is not there. Because if the opportunity was truly not there, then why in the hell are there so many numbers behind you? It's wild to seem, but nobody wants to look at it from that perspective. And I did that probably nine years ago when once I switched that mentality around, stop focusing on where I'm ranking. But looking at all of the single opportunities that are on that sheet, it really helped drive my how and what I was doing for my business. I think it goes back to like the death by comparison, right? Yep. And I remember people in the past have been like, even if they worked in the same office, right? Like maybe they don't want to work in this office because I do a hundred transactions a year and they think that that's a, that they won't get any business. Right. And I always try to remove that one layer back. I'm like, okay, but we live in a town in an area of about 30,000, so that means there's 29,900 other people that need real estate help. So is that 100 really the problem? And I think, you know, a client today was talking about how she is so much farther behind than where she was last year and it was in listings and made them counter out. And first of all, she was comparing the whole year to, to today. So I was like, well you like, you got like five more months to compare to, but month to month, there's one left, there's one less, but was giving herself a hard time about being so much farther below. I was like, well, we're talking about one, one lesson. Like, is that really the worst thing you got to remember? There's tons of people that haven't had a transaction yet this year. So, you know, I think there's always that. Either you're comparing yourself to what you did last year, and again, it's a different market than last year. We have to be honest. But, you know, people have their own personal things that are going on, too, as an agents in life. And so I think it has to just go a week back to, like, are you fulfilled in what you're doing? And does that have to mean if, you know, 15 listings this year or 17 listings this year, like, at the end of the day, like, if you're still doing what fulfills you, you're still doing everything that brings you that business, it's okay. Like, things will be okay. That one listing is not going to make or break you. So I think that's just where people have to maybe be a little bit more appreciative of where they're at, what they're doing, that they have the ability to do that. You know, that's the other thing is, you know, you and I have, you know, people that we know that, you know, recently diagnosed with cancer and, I mean, frightening, and it's been a lot lately. And, you know, they talk about how much it readjusts, what they're thinking about. And I think that was a good reminder for us that could change tomorrow. I mean, are we. Are we doing the things that are fulfilling to us? Are there things we need to give up? And are you happy? Are you not happy? Like, it's a true thing that sometimes you just have to turn the mirror on yourself and take a hard look at it, and you might be the problem. Maybe you're not. But do you need help? Are you getting the help you need? Are you asking for help? Like, all those things, right? It's just one simple statement, right? I need help. And be brave to be able to say it. So. So I'm going to give everybody a challenge. And that challenge is just take a freaking breath. That's it. Breathe. It's going to be okay the sky is not falling it's all right Let it be so. All right. As always, if you would like to be a guest on our podcast, please reach out and keep the messages coming. We love hearing from you. And tune in next time. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please, like, subscribe and share with others. Stay connected. For more genuine insights and strategies to boost your real estate career on Facebook or check out our website. We'll see you next time.