Take a Second, Make a Difference: The Power of Small Gestures

The other day I was with somebody, and I just. You just seem a little, Little off. Like, is everything okay? Is there anything I can do for you? And his eyes, like, got super big and almost started crying. Like, I mean, got watery. And I was like, I mean, I'm here to talk, like, if you want to. I'm not trying to pry, but I just feel a vibe. And, you know, I don't think that, you know, taking a second, making a difference has to be gifts all the time. And doing all this, I think all of that is important to grow your business. But when you have that intuition with somebody that you're around or, you know, somebody just happens to pop in your brain for whatever reason, don't suppress that and be like, oh, there, I'm sure they're okay. Or, you know, because what if. What if that is the one thing that reach out? That one. Are you okay? Is there anything I can do for you? Or however you're opening that conversation is what can change their entire mood. What? Or change and have them see that somebody actually does care. Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast for Real Estate Pros by Real Estate Pros with your hosts, Ashley Frederick and Steven Burch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic, and raw perspective, you found it. All right, welcome back to the Leading Lane podcast. Today we are going to chat about two taking a second and making a difference. First, I have to get the disclaimer. Like, when I was in high school, there was this club that only select people were able to get, you know, be initiated into it, take a second, make a difference. Tasmad. And back then I was like, that's the stupidest thing ever. Like, if you're really trying to make a difference, why are you making a cult over it? Because I think it needs to be genuine. It needs to be not selected, that you're only going to select who you're going to be making a difference for. Um, that was just the outside in. I'm sure that they had other things that they. They did, but really just how just small little, you know, messages or thank yous or handwritten cards or just, you know, picking up the call or send. Or picking up the phone to, you know, call somebody, sending a text message. How all of those things make such a huge impact to, I think not only the person that you are sending it to, but for yourself as well. Right. So the receiver and for. For. For yourself too. So, Ashley, I know you're great at sending gifts. You know, we got our cheese and our. Our sausage and Everything else that you send with your. Was it salvageable? Yes, it was. It was good. But we, you know, like, getting that and then the little note card that you send me, you know, just, you know, thanking me and whatnot. And so what. How do you actually get into that? And I know it sounds so simplistic. Just do it. But what does it mean for you and how do you get into it? Yeah, you know, I think that I've. I've always been a good gift giver. For the most part. I'm really bad about people's like, birthdays and whatnot, but it's. For me, it's more like, I don't know, just when somebody has, like, done something that has made a difference for me or whatnot. I just always feel like people need to know how much they're appreciated. And sometimes I feel like just a simple, like, text message to say thank you isn't enough because it's. That's easy. And anybody can do that. So I guess I try to, like, just work. Like when something happens through a day that somebody went above and beyond for me, I just really like to take the moment to acknowledge that. And that's typically either a handwritten note or write like some type of gift, if you will. And I mean, I guess in a sense I feel like the thank you note is. Is a gift. But I will say that kind of two things have sped that up for me are reading the ninja selling book. So the. And I need to get better. I. E. Caitlin, you can help me with that. Is writing. You know, I think. I think they say two thank you notes a day. I was kind of doing like two thank you notes a week. So I need to go back to that because if you think about it, it takes like literally 30 seconds. And you know their strategy as far as the ninja selling, part of it is being in tune with your database. So Facebook is a great opportunity to watch people's accomplishments because everyone likes to share their accomplishments on. They do so. Right. For example, like, I shared. I'm speaking on stage. So like, if somebody were trying to keep me in their database for somebody something, right? Like maybe they're trying to sell me car. I don't know. Right. Like, if I was in their database for that, they could see that on fate on Facebook and then they would write me a thank you or not necessarily a thank you note, but a hey, saw you're speaking in New York. So proud of you. Right? And then something outside of just a Facebook congratulations. So when I see people's engagements, job promotions, anything like that. I'll try to send someone a handwritten note, you know, because it's outside, because, sure, you get all the love on Facebook, but it's different when you actually get to open something in the mail. And I do think it's a lost art. Not a lot of people do handwritten notes anymore. So I do think that people appreciate something in the mail. So it started with reading the ninja selling book. And it's. It's not just your database. It is friends. Like, it's. It's. It's just a way to show people that you care about them. But the other thing that I think kind of propelled it was a challenge that Marianne Wilson puts on. It's called notevember, and she's fantastic on it. And basically it's the month of November. You write a note every single day, which it is not as easy as you think. And she gives you like this every day as an example. So maybe like an empty nester or somebody that lives alone. And so like, every single day, I would rack my brain in my. In my life who felt. Who fell into that role. Right. So I had a past client that was going through cancer treatment and I sent her a message and somebody that they were recently empty nesters, somebody that does live alone, somebody that just means a lot to me. Like, so they'd give you all these examples and like, maybe a friend you haven't talked to in a while. Um, and so I did that for, you know, the whole month of November. Sometimes I had to write five in one day because behind. But I was amazed on people reaching back out and being like, you have no idea how much your card meant to me. And one person wrote me and said, like, your card brought me to tears, you know, and so I think it's just a matter of we lost so much human connection over Covid and that will take. I don't think we'll probably ever get back to what it used to be. So if we can do little things here and there. So, I mean, those are kind of the two things that have really propelled it for me. But it's. It's really just following your intuition that, like, when you feel like someone's done something for you or they, you know, just caught you on a good day, like, just send them a thank you or if you see something's going on, you know, well, in their lives, just send them a. Like, so happy for you. And I think we take that for granted. I think that people just think everyone's Happy for them, or it's that simple. Great job on Facebook. But actually knowing that someone took the time to write me a card and tell me how they feel, that's how I. Like, I know how I feel, and I want other people to feel that way. I mean, if you look at it, you know, when you're on Facebook and you know you're already going there for dopamine, right? Like, you're already getting your fixed dopamine and people are responding and everything, and it's almost like it. Not that you're numb to it, but it's not a true human interaction. I mean, your dopamine is already there. But think about when you go to your mailbox and you, you know, open it up. Like, typically when we go to our mailbox, it's nothing but junk mail or bills. And then here you are, like, this is something totally different. Like, you get your dopamine totally different there. So I think it's separating being the now norm of social media, of scrolling to now this is something tangible that I get to. To hold. And you actually hand wrote something how that means something totally different, right? And you know, if you think about it, one note is just in. When I started in real estate, I used to do this. I kind of got away from it, and then I started again. But, you know, we're still, like, enlisting presentations and you still can be up against others. And so I used to write thank yous after I would leave a listing preview. And many times I got a phone call because I was the only one that followed up back with them. And so I. I was like 99.9 sure I was gonna get this listing just with how they were talking or whatnot, but I still wrote them one. Like, I've been trying to do it better when, you know, it's different with some listings. Like, you know that you're the only one because you've worked with them numerous times. Other people, it's. You've never met them before and you know that you're against others. And I sent them a thank you for the opportunity and how much I look forward to working with them. And then I. I think they called me to stop back by, and that's when they let me know. But, you know, they said how much that card meant to them. And so again, I mean, it. It just goes back to. I mean, if that could be a make or break for someone to. To get a listing, it's. It's something simple and, you know, like, it's kind of funny. That we're not talking about this, because the other day I was with somebody, and I just. You just seem a little. Little off. Like, is everything okay? Is there anything I can do for you? And his eyes, like, got super big and almost started crying. Like, I mean, got watery. And I was like, I mean, I'm here to talk, like, if you want to. I'm not trying to pry, but I just feel a vibe. And, you know, I don't think that, you know, taking a second, making a difference has to be gifts all the time and doing all this. I think all of that is important to grow your business. But when you have that intuition with somebody that you're around or, you know, somebody just happens to pop in your brain for whatever reason, don't suppress that and be like, oh, there. I'm sure they're okay. Or, you know, because what if. What if that is the one thing that reach out, that one. Are you okay? Is there anything I can do for you? Or however you're opening that conversation is what can change their entire mood or change and have them see that somebody actually does care. It's crazy that we don't necessarily have those conversations very often. A lot of people kind of want to run away from it versus, again, that human connection and creating that relationship with them. Not for the mere factor of, oh, I want to sell you, you know, real estate, but making sure that you're okay if you're a part of my. My people and my tribe. Like, I want to make sure everybody's a okay, and I want to bring people with me. Right. And if I can change just a little bit of somebody's mood in a single day, I'm here for it. Just taking that small. Yeah, you make a very valid point. I mean, you know, that, like, I had a friend that seemed off. And, I mean, I'm thinking of two, like, in particular. And, you know, one, I just. I think that sometimes people don't also realize how they, like, exude that from themselves. Like. Right. Like, we think that we're putting on this shiny armor that no one can see that something's wrong. And then when someone actually does say something to you, like, something feels off, like you don't seem happy or whatnot. Like, sometimes it's almost like a stark reality for them. Like, that, oh, my gosh, I can't hide it anymore. You know, but one of them, you know, it was postpartum, and, you know, literally, I was like, I think you need to just talk to somebody. Like, you need to get some Help or whatnot. And they did know they're that much better today because of it. Or another friend that, you know, they just weren't talking to anybody about any of their problems. And you kind of sometimes just have to let it all out. But it's that minute of you're right. Like just telling someone business or not related. Like just something like, are you okay? It can. And it could save a life. I mean really. Absolutely. It's. Life is hard, right? Like, life is tough. There's ups, there's down, it's a roller coaster. There's spirals, there's flips, there's freaking everything in life. And so sometimes there's just these abrupt stops too. And so, you know, the. As much as people and I, I used to be somebody that, you know, just keep on going, put your head down. Right. Like. And actually over the weekend I, I sent a message to. To somebody that actually a competitor. She found out that she had cancer. And I was just like, you know, I was completely devastated when I I heard like, you had such a huge impact in my life. Like, I was really emotional over it. And she was like, I had no idea that I had such a. An impact. Like, what You've been a part of my career like from the very beginning. Like, yes, we don't work in the same office. Yes, you don't work for me. But it does not mean that like we have to have this competition and the shield up all the time. Like, I'm proud of you, I'm rooting for you. And this world is such negativity. So I think it's just, you know, as those little things resonate, there's somebody else. On Sunday. I saw her daughter. Um, it's actually one of our agents niece. And so I texted her and I was like, hey, I just want to let you know I saw your daughter and she's freaking amazing. She came up and you know, huge old smile and you know, just loved on us and everything. And you know, that really meant a lot to me. She's like, my God, I thought she did something wrong. And I was like, well, I'd probably tell you that if I saw her act in a fool. But I just think that, you know, it's good to, you know, let people know how great of a human that you raised. And I said, okay, that's enough of the emotions today. Goodbye. So it's just the small things that that matter. And I think that the more that you again, I kind of go back to this universe and the energy concept the manifesting, the more that you are putting that out there, the more that you're going to be receiving it. So if it's something that you're looking for, like, if you are looking for those compliments and you're looking for those types of, you know, little changes and people making nice comments to you, like, give it to other people, because it's going to come back to you. Right. I remember one time in college, a teacher kind of gave us this challenge of, like, the next week, they wanted us to say hi to anybody that we, like, crossed paths with. Right? Because, like, in college, like, you typically walked to and from classes or whatnot. And sometimes I do that to today. I remember that. I mean, it was just very, very interesting. Like, one. How many people try not to, like, look at you, but other ones, like, they. They do, and then they, like, they don't know what to do. So if you were to just smile and say hi, like, right. Most people smile and say hi back. And it was. I don't know. It was interesting because it was. It felt good. Like, it felt good in that I think most people were appreciative or were surprised or whatnot. I still try to do that now. Like, when you're walking down the sidewalk and you see someone, like. Like, why. Like, why not say hi? There's nothing wrong with saying hi. And so I encourage people to try to do that more. And I think that you'll see, like, people are surprised or, you know, even at, like, in line at a. I mean, I hate going to the grocery store. That's, like, my last thing that I do. But if I do happen to have to go, you know, like, I don't know, but it. Like, I think one of the reasons I don't like to go is, like, everyone feels so tense at the grocery store. Like, meh. So, like, when I'm going down aisles, like, I'll purposely be like, oh. Like, hi. Like, oh, you're making something fun today. Like, when they're in the baking aisle, right. And normally catch people off guard, but. Or if you're in line, like, you know, you can be like, oh, gosh, everybody's getting groceries today. Right. I just think that if you try to, like, add some lightness, right. Like, I think people would appreciate that more than when you hear the person, like, on the other line. That's like, everybody and their brothers at the grocery store. You know, like, it's just like. Like, I'm glad I'm not in that line. Right. Like, would you rather be in the. Like, everyone's getting groceries today. And, you know, I think that it's really funny that you use that. Like, I hate going to the grocery store, too. I order and deliver. Literally, like, he can't stand that. He can't do that. He has to go. But when I have to go, like, it already gives me anxiety. I don't want to be there. I don't like being there. But. But I take that same type of mentality of, okay, if I can go and kind of be cheerful and, you know, put this. I don't want to say facade, but it's almost kind of what it is. I can't lie, like, hey, everything's great, and let me. Let me kind of talk to people and. Because if I'm feeling it, then I know that they're feeling it. And I don't want to feel that way. So I don't want other people to feel that way. So I'd much rather be a little bit more uncomfortable on stepping outside of my comfort zone, right? Like, in helping others and just starting that conversation. And typically, by the time I get through to the, you know, checkout line, I'm like, oh, it's not that bad. Maybe I should do this more often. So I think it's funny that you. You use the grocery store. It does give me anxiety. I don't know why, but it does. Well, it's probably because I also, like, run into, like, half my clients. So I also know that my attempt to go to the grocery store is going to be five minutes, and it'll be an hour later. When Ryan and I first got together here. Get me on topic. But when we first got together, right? He was not in real estate at the time, and I in real estate, very involved in the community. And I was like, I have this game, game that I play. I actually call it the Buckle game. Because back in. When I went to the Buckle all the time, like, all the associates would come to you. So we would try to hit the back wall before an associate can actually ask what they can help you with. So I use that with Walmart, right? Like, or the grocery store. Let's play the Buckle game. Let's see how long it takes until somebody comes up and talks to me, how. Ask how I am, or that I know. And it was the first time that we went to Walmart together. We didn't even make it past, like, three cars. And he's like, you're like a celebrity. And so now, like, roles reversed. Like, I'm not selling real estate. Anymore. He is. And he's the broker and he can't go to the freaking grocery store. I'm like, my God, you know, everybody. So it's just funny how that completely changed and I still hate going to the store. So at the end of the day, take a second, make a difference, reach out to others. Let that be handwritten notes, let it be a text call, email, whatever, a gift. And just asking how they're doing today, making somebody smile. And I think that your energy, their energy probably, I know guarantee you in real estate and in sales, you're completely production is going to change for the positive for it. So, yeah, if someone crosses your mind, send them a message, you know, but otherwise, yeah, it's just these are ways to differentiate yourself while literally making a positive impact on the world. Absolutely. Great. Well, thank you for listening today. As always, please like and subscribe. If you would like to be a guest on our podcast, please reach out to us. We would love to have you. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please like subscribe and share with others. Stay connected. 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