Why Discipline Beats Motivation Every Time (And What to Do Instead)

I think I saw somewhere that it said, discipline is your roommate and motivation is. A visitor thought that that was an interesting way of trying to think about the two, because I think that, like, again, too much emphasis gets put on motivation. And then I also think when people don't feel motivated, like, it's even more so draining that everyone says you should be motivated or you should do these things. Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast for Real Estate Pros by Real Estate Pros, with your hosts, Ashley Frederick and Steven Burch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic, and raw perspective, you found it. All right, welcome to the Leading Lane podcast. Today we're going to talk about motivation versus discipline and what the differences are, what it means to us, and maybe how we see things just a little bit differently than other people, and they may see things differently from us as well. And that's totally okay. We've talked about motivation before in the past, so let's kind of dive into it first. What is the difference between the two? What are the meanings for you, and how can people identify which is which? Yeah, I think that, like, motivation is a. Like a buzzword, I think. You know, and I. I think it's like a feel good. Like, I. I feel energized today, so I'm gonna work out type of thing. People are always like, how do I motivate people? I think that that's really hard to try to quote, unquote, motivate people, because people do things for different reasons. So some, you know, money might motivate someone or someone else might be motivated by time off. Right? So, like, you don't know what people's true, quote, unquote, motivation is. I think it can be hard where I think, like, discipline is more or less like, regimens, things that you say consistent with that. I think in turn can almost, like, replace motivation or lead it to something else. Right? So there's like, a motivation might be, like, I feel good, so I'm gonna work out today where discipline is like, regardless of how I feel, I'm working out today,. To me, the motivation is the fire, right? And then discipline is actually putting another log on the fire so the fire doesn't actually go out. And it has to fuel one. I mean, it's one and the other. Like, what is the priority for me? What is the. My motivating factor of getting me to the finish line of whatever that may be? And you're right. We all are going to have completely different perspectives of what our motivation is and what motivates us but we all have that internal fire, if you will, that what sparks us. And I think once you identify what is the actual spark and then you can figure out whatever the end goal is, you know that if you don't do whatever it is that you're supposed to do, you are not going to get to the end goal. And so therefore, if you really want it, you're going to make it a priority and then you're going to have the discipline to ensure that you're consistently doing it. And I think sometimes too like people think that this has to be some huge, massive goal or plan. In reality, I think it is like super small things that compound together to, you know, build whatever it is that you're doing. So I think that people try to over complicate it and try to put way more into it because they're either comparing, well this person's doing this and they're just seeing surface level things versus really figuring out if you're going to go to the gym and work out first, it is actually getting there right first. It's making sure you put on your shoes. So it's stepping back really to the basics of what is that very first step so you're not jumping over that step and completely tripping over and misfiring of what you're running after. I mean, I think you can make a good point as far as like when people compare themselves. I think that that's like the society that we live in is people are comparing them themselves all the time. But for example, like someone might be like, oh, why do they have more listings than I do? And it's just an automatic that you're doing something wrong, but maybe they're disciplined and that they make 10 phone calls every single day and you make none. Right? So like, why are we comparing when we don't know the whole backstory, etc. And so I think that that's where I try to tell people, like, like to get the ball rolling, I always say like you have to like, like get two. So like get, get two offers, get two listings, get two buyer appointments, whatever that might be. And I think that that helps like in motion. But I think a lot of people, especially when it comes to real estate, think that like it's just going to miraculously appear, like more people are just going to come out of the woodworks. They're gonna of like, you know, 40 agents that are town, like for some reason you stand out from the others. Maybe that's true, maybe that's not true. But like truly like, what are you doing behind the scenes as far as that? Discipline to create motivation to keep on doing it. So I think my question is, why do you think that people struggle with disciplined activities? Because I think the discipline is not sexy. It's not fun. Right? Like, it's not like, do I really want to have to go write? You know, I don't like doing handwritten note cards, but do I really want to? No, it's not pretty. But if I know that that has an end result to get me where I want to be able to go, that's a different story. So I think people will go to the sexy things. And I think a lot of time the sexy things are the, the easy buttons. And really that easy button is one way too far in advance of even implementing that in there. So I think it's the small reps that count first. Um, and that is truly what builds the muscle, that builds what you are trying to, to do the consistency. And then once you do that, then it's adding the next step of whatever it may be. Right. Like, I think people. Yeah, not sexy. Not sexy at all. Not funny. Think that, like, motivation might feel good, but it can be fleeing, right? So like, motivation, I think also, like, when you look at social media, it's so tied to like motivational speakers and motivational podcasts. And like, don't get me wrong, there are certain things that I really enjoy listening to, but that might be because I'm already disciplined enough that I just like that extra, like, get out of your head today, we're going to move on or whatnot. Or I think that like, you know, motivation is also emotion based. So I think if someone's having a, a bad day or a bad week or whatever that might be, I think that's where motivation falls off. But again, like, if you were to go back to just your disciplined things, whether you're having a good day or a bad day or bad week or whatever, if you're going back to just keeping the consistency, typically you can work yourself through whatever slump that might be. Well, I mean, if you think about it too, like, we're all going to go through life, we're all going to have those slumps life is going to be life in. And if you are somebody that doesn't have the discipline, the drive, the motivation, when life is going well, imagine like how much further down in that dip you're going to get when something is thrown at you because you don't have a lot of traction already, so you're pulled back even Further. And it's harder to get out of that hole and go up that hill. And so therefore, I think, again, since it's not sexy, people have a hard time continuing to step foot and continue to climb because they're not getting that instant gratification that they're looking for. So therefore, they'll either shut down and retreat or they're going to freeze and not go anywhere at all. And to where really you need to be moving forward even further and press like, those hard times are really, when you press even harder, in my opinion, to push yourself, to make sure that you don't go into that negative and that lull into that dip because it's so hard, speaking from experience, so hard to pull yourself out of it. But I think, like, discipline comes down to keeping promises to yourself, right? In a sense, like. Like, I, you know, think about being healthy or whatnot, and right. If you have an underlying condition or whatnot, you might make a promise to yourself so that you can try to stay healthy. Like, I had someone that was telling me that they're working or they're walking 13 steps a day, and it was more or less because it's a promise that they made to their son to be healthy and right. So, like, when you tie something like that, that's not, to me, like, that's tying, quote, unquote, motivation to a discipline. So I think, like, if you can tie them together versus, like, just trying to be, like, I should be motivated, I should do these things. Well, when you tie it to not letting somebody else down, I mean, we all do it. You know, you have the New Year, New Year's resolution, and you don't do it. We don't follow through. Whatever may happen, it's happened to us. But when you tie it to another person that you don't want to let them down, we're naturally wired to make sure that we don't let this person down, because we will be in our little feelings, if you will, but we don't want that person to go with us as well. So I think that, you know, your friend that is walking and ties it to the sun or whatever, like, you don't want to let them down. And I think that shows even further. And that pushes you. And, you know, if you can do it for them, you really are doing it for yourself. So it's almost tricking your mind of thinking or how to think to ensure that you're actually going to follow through with it. Because that's what really all this is, is how are you Going to ensure that you're going to follow through. How are you going to implement and follow through? And that's the hardest step is implementation. And the first step, I saw somewhere. That it said discipline is your roommate and motivation is. A visitor thought that that was an interesting way of trying to think about the two. Because I think that like, again, too much emphasis gets put on motivation. And then I also think when people don't feel motivated, like, it's even more so draining that everyone says you should be motivated or you should do these things where again, if it just goes back to like setting in almost like the atomic habits, right? Like, what can you stack so that those things just naturally occur? And then, yes, there will be moments of motivation because all the things that you're doing are finally panning out or working for you. You know, for me, it's going to sound funny being petty. Like something happens. I'm going to be petty and I'm going to get damn motivated real quick because I'm going to show you that I'm gonna prove you wrong, right? Like, I don't care how hard I have to work or how long, but if there's any sort of penniness or anything, I don't know, there's some sort of trigger in my brain that will fire me up and let's go and let's be petty. I'm fine with it. Watch me, I'll make it happen. So. And everybody has their difference, you know, different things. And I think too here, like, there's short term, right? And then there's also long term. And it's again, not a whole lump sum. That is just one feeling of motivation. Like there's so many different factors that go into it. And I really look at it like you're building a Lego set, you have all the right pieces, you open up the box, you throw it on the ground. But you have to first start with that one single Lego and then you can build the blocks off of that. But if you try to build everything all at one time, you're not going to get anywhere whatsoever and your foundation is going to be all effed up. So it's small blocks, building blocks, compounding together consistently with the discipline. Yeah, I mean, really, that's the foundation, right? Like, especially in real estate, we always talk about like good bones, right? So like, the foundation of what you're doing has to be solid in order for the rest of it come together. Well, you know, I. What about when you have the motivation, you have the drive, determination and others that you Believe in, they're not stepping up. How wildly frustrating is that for you? Or is that just a me thing? No, definitely frustrating. You know, I think that there's, like, twofold. I think that, like, one is because I think, like, people can view people differently. So, like, I can see that there's potential in them if they would do the simple things they need to do. Right. I get frustrated when maybe people can't see their own potential or when I think that people don't. Aren't disciplined enough or don't think, don't take things seriously. So, you know, there's a point where, like, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink. Right. And so, like, I've had to get to that point over time too. I guess part of it for me too, is still just like, leading by example. So they might not do the things I would. I would necessarily do, but if I continue to do what works for me, like, hopefully they'll continue to watch that and be like, oh, like, yep, she's got systems. She does things. And that's why it's working. Sometimes I think you have to let people fail too. Right? And really, like, success is coming from failure or things you gotta get back up once you've been knocked down again. So sometimes I think people have to go through the ebbs and flows to maybe have a reality check of, okay, well, I tried to coast or I didn't do my disciplined activities. I didn't make my phone calls, I didn't talk to so and so. And like, now it's really affecting where I'm at today. And maybe sometimes it takes that gut check that they may be messed up and maybe there's a different way to do it so that you don't have those. Yeah, I think as a high performer and a leader, it's wildly frustrating. In the old me used to be, like, wanting to shake them and don't get around. There's still times I wanted to shake them, but be like, just listen, right? But now it's almost better for me, in my opinion, to let them. You have to let them do it. They have to, like you said, experience it. But I think where to pull this full circle as a leader is when they fall on their face or when you see the train, you know, actually crash, whatever that may be. Now it's saying, cool, what made you end up here? It's questioning and asking them for them to be able to realize it, that they were the ones that were actually the common denominator it's their reason, not mine. And until they speak it's a truth, it's not going to be true. So it's asking those questions to pull it out of them for them to be able to truly admit. And the first thing out of everything is acceptance, making sure that you're not in denial. And now we can move forward and show you the path to the success and discipline. Yeah. So I think that if, you know, if people are feeling maybe not so motivated. It's a strange time in, in real estate. Like there's, I mean, right, like Bed, Bath and Beyond, acquired real estate firm. Like, I don't know how that happens. Right. So like every day is everything home. Yeah, everything is. Every day is a new day. And I think it's easy to get lost in those headlines or whatnot. But you're not feeling motivated or you're feeling Alec. I think it's a simple question of, like, what daily tasks can I put into place to just start making like the inch by inch steps to get out of that? Well, I think that this is a huge topic that, you know, really everything about success all comes down to the discipline and the motivation. And I think a lot of times we don't slow ourselves down enough to really identify those small steps and different tasks that we need to be able to do. So I think it really is that self audit, that self evaluation of what is really the issue here. And you already know what it is. Drill down to it, find those tasks and just start. Start today. Not tomorrow, not Monday. Today. Eat the frog. Eat the frog. Cool. Well, thanks for tuning in to the Leading Lane podcast and make sure you listen to the next one. We appreciate you guys. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please, like subscribe and share with others. Stay connected for more genuine insights and strategies to boost your real estate career on Facebook or check out our website. We'll see you next time.